Ever-Changing Reflection

Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding... It is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sick self. Therefore trust the physician, and drink his remedy in silence and tranquility.
~ Kahlil Gibran

Friday, April 23, 2010

Do you walk more than you talk, or talk more than you walk?


Week 4: In the end, have you said more than you've done?

I'm just gonna answer the question straight up and say, yes, absolutely. I have said more than I have done. Mostly because I talk a lot about my dreams and what I think I walk, but then I rarely do anything to make it happen.

This is not something I am proud of; in fact, I'm outright ashamed. I would rather say NOTHING and just do. I want to take that giant leap and just go for it. I want to take the first dream that pops into my mind, develop it and make it come true. If that doesn't do it for me, I'll move on to the next one. 

Sounds amazing, right? 

You're probably wondering why I am not living this way if it sounds so great. It all boils down to fear. The greatest fear of all is the fear of failure. What if it doesn't work out? I'll be so disappointed and hurt. Maybe it will cause me to lose my other dreams, and then what will I do? One can only dream so much before discouragement takes over.

Then there is the practical side: I don't have a lot of money, I'm not independently wealthy -- though I wish I was! And, we all know, deep down, it takes money to make dreams come true. I can't just up and quit my day job to travel the world, not only because of the loss of income, but the loss of benefits -- everyone in this country needs medical insurance these days. (Ahem, this is not a political discussion.)

I know these sound like lame excuses for not living the life I really want, but they paralyze me. I suppose the reactions of my family and friends factor in as well. I can't imagine all of them would be on board with what I want to do. And, how can I chase my dreams without the support of those I love? 

This post is not an answer, sorry if you were looking for one. It is a giant, life-involving, life-changing question. I have not figured it out yet. Have you? Do you have any advice to offer? Are you silently walking your walk? 

4 comments:

Jessica said...

These are not lame excuses at all! Well, at least I'd like to think they aren't because they keep me from doing things too. I'm the world's most fearful person of...failure!

Diggestive said...

This is such a tough question and there is no right answer.

Let's start with a question, do you want to do what YOU want to do, or what other people expect you to do or even what you think people expect you to do.

I think happiness comes from doing what you want to do. You can achieve greatness in all three but it doesn't mean you will be happy.

JennyMac said...

Those are not excuses Jen. You are looking at things pragmatically for your situation right now.

I am living as much as I can. Life can get very groundhog day if I let it so even if it is reading a great book or reading the news or learning something new, I am filling my time with quality.

bananas. said...

i think everyone has said more than they've done, including myself. but the difference with me is that i'm not ashamed. why be? as long as you're happy and in a good state, why even stress about it? i mean, i'm pretty sure i once said i would marry my ex. THANK GAWWWD i didn't!!!