This year I am all about being a better me. Not just a better person, friend, daughter, girlfriend, sister, employee, but a kinder, happier, improved Jen. Living my best life, as Oprah says. I hope by eliminating these 11 things, I can achieve this goal.
- Selfishness: It is kind of ironic that in focusing so much on becoming a better me, I'm getting rid of selfishness, but that's a paradox I am just going to have to figure out. I truly believe that I can be happier and more fulfilled by focusing on others' needs and wants instead of only thinking of myself.
- Laziness: No more just coming home from work and sitting on the couch all night. I don't care if I go to Zumba class, run, walk Morris or go out to meet a friend, I will eliminate hours upon hours of sitting on the couch.
- Mindless spending: I've struggled with money for as long as I can remember. We don't have a great relationship -- those green pieces of paper and me (or that pink rose covered piece of plastic as the case usually is). I created a budget this month, and I am tracking my spending in major categories. Already, I have become more aware of money as it leaves my bank account, and I make sure wherever it's going is worth the cost.
- Control: Ok, I know what you're thinking; I cannot completely eliminate control. I need to have control over certain things, of course. Those things, however, need to be things I can control. No more trying to exert control over situations that are beyond me.
- Negative thoughts: This is a tough one for me. I have had that negative soundtrack for as long as I can remember... it is so ingrained that I actually fooled myself into thinking I had become a positive person. I still think of the worst possible conclusion. I hope to eliminate that this year.
- Awkwardness: There is absolutely no reason I need to feel awkward. Period.
- Judgement: This one goes along with control and negative thoughts above. They are an evil threesome -- one I don't want to be involved with anymore. I pass judgement on people. I admit it. Sometimes it's fair, sometimes it isn't, but the important thing for me to remember is it is not my job.
- Doubt: I have questioned everything over the past year. All my choices, thoughts, feelings, actions. I am going to be confident in myself, trust my gut. There will be no second-guessing, no questions after the fact. What is done, is done. It's in the past, and I intend to leave it there.
- Insecurity: If I can get rid of all the things on this list, I should be able to feel very secure with myself.
- Binge eating: I know I don't have an eating disorder, but sometimes I just go on these binges because I'm craving something. I realize afterwards that it was completely unsatisfying and unnecessary. I want to eat a healthy three meals a day, snack on fruit and nuts, and occasionally treat myself with something I really love.
- Waiting: I wait to do SO MUCH. Tomorrow will be better, I tell myself. Oh, I can't do that until next week. Eh, I can do that in a couple hours. What's wrong with right now? I don't want to wait to live.
I made this list off the cuff, and I'm a bit surprised at what ended up on it, but I still think it's a great list. All these things stand in my way. I can't wait to get rid of them and feel lighter.
I won't make you list 11 things, but what's one thing you can do without this year?
3 comments:
I think this is a great list! Very honest and open. I can definitely relate to many of your items - I'd love to be able to let go of mindless spending, insecurity and negative thoughts.
This is a very ambitious list! It's obvious you have given a lot of thought to how you want to change you life. Good for you! I'm really impressed with your level of introspection. Good luck!
I see by your button that you are a twenty-something blogger. Sad to say, I am almost the exact same person 30 years later. I have the same struggles, the same goals, and sad to say, I haven't made as much progress as I would have liked.
I look back on journal entries I made when I was turning 40 and I see that I am still struggling with weight, debt, cleaning, spending time on myself, being a better parent, etc. Didn't think I'd still be facing those SAME problems a decade later.
So I guess my best advice is to get your act together now and don't spend the next 30 years futzing around with this stuff like I have!
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