#reverb10 - Is this it???

I haven't been so great about the second half of this whole #reverb10 deal. I did well the first two weeks, then I just fell off the horse... and the horse ran over me. Seriously, that's kinda how it felt watching those daily prompts gallop into my inbox every morning.

So, I'm a little late to the polo game. What's the big deal? I've been late my entire life, so why make this an exception? I'm dedicated to #reverb10, folks, just not every month in December. I'll complete every prompt, even if it takes me until March 2011 to do it! I do find value in reflecting back on the year, and these prompts challenge me. I believe they are helping me showcase some of my best writing on this blog.

Catch up is starting TODAY...

December 29 Prompt: Defining moment. Describe a defining moment or series of events that has affected your life this year.

I just mentally went through my entire year, and it's pretty sad that I had a hard time remembering a lot of it! So it is as we get older and less emotionally involved, I suppose.

Then it hit me over the head -- my defining moment that is. After five years at my company, and seven years since I graduated from a prestigious communications college with a bachelor's degree in journalism, I finally got the job I had been wanting! I finally achieved what I had been working toward -- finally would be able to use my skills and do something I loved.

Or so I thought.

Unfortunately, with all of the downsizing of the past two years comes the upsizing of individual positions. People everywhere do more with less; employers call upon their employees to do the jobs of two or even three people.

So was the case with me.

I love communications. I love telling people what they don't know, or what they don't think they need to know. I love seeing my name in print -- or even just seeing something I had a hand in creating in "print" (since most publications are digital these days). I love working so hard researching and creating something and then watching it go out to the masses. I like publication design, content creation, collaboration and directing. I never thought I was creative until I realized that structuring an entire publication is creating.

But, that's not all my new job of internal communications was -- to my dismay. Also tagged onto the end of my title was sales communications and events.

I'm ok with the events part; it gives me the opportunity to expand my skill set and do something I've been casually interested in for a while. Sure, let's tack that bullet point onto the end of my resume.

Sales. OMG. Ew. LOL... I don't mean to be overly dramatic, but I've been trying to get into "sales" for 11 years -- ever since I started working in retail. It's not for me, friends, sorry. I don't get the thrill of taking money from people -- even if I'm offering them the best product or service in the world in return. I have no interest in convincing someone to choose my offering over someone else's; that's their choice. I have no aptitude for budgets or sales leads or revenue or that dreaded EBITDA. It's just not me.

So, while I finally reached that long-held goal, with it came responsibilities that I... just... am... not... good... at. Not only am I not good at them, but they don't excite me. And, because it's half my job, I don't get to allocate as much time as I would like to the things that do excite me.

I'm trying. I'm trying to learn and grow and "do something different." I haven't quite figured it out yet though. Is this just the way the professional world is, or am I settling? Do you have to take the bad with the good? Is there a way for me to custom-build a job where I only do things I'm passionate about and that inspire me? 

All I know is this is a growing pain. There is a lesson here. There is a challenge here. It is not the end.