Ever-Changing Reflection

Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding... It is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sick self. Therefore trust the physician, and drink his remedy in silence and tranquility.
~ Kahlil Gibran

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

A Premonition, A Fear Manifestation, or Just a Silly Dream?

Image credit: Zales
It's my wedding day. I cannot believe it is finally here. My hair is done, I'm finish up my makeup, and look at my dress hanging over the door. I stand in front of the mirror and the butterflies jostle around my stomach as I see the beautiful woman staring back at me. Oh. My. God.

Today I am marrying the man I have loved for so long. Forever. This is unreal. Panic sets in. "Nonononononono!"

We walk into Burger King -- of all places -- he in his suit, me in my dress. It's just hours before the ceremony.

"What do you want?" he asks me.

"I don't know. I don't think I want anything," I reply, wondering how I am going to tell him.

I'm not ready. We can't do this today. I'm not ready. I haven't got your ring yet!


We sit down and talk about the upcoming afternoon: final details, the people we're going to see, what we're having for dinner, idle chit-chat, forever love.

Oh no, he has no idea. I can't tell him! I have to tell him. I don't have his ring! I didn't have enough time!


Inside I'm an absolute disaster zone of panic, and I don't know what to do.

We head back to the house where everyone is waiting, and I still haven't told him yet. He leaves for the church, and I'm left with my best friend and mom -- the two women I trust most in this world. I have to tell them. They will help me figure this out.

************

And then I wake up. I'm hot and sweaty. I catch my breath and sit up. It was just a dream. Yet, it was so real. What does it mean?

Of course I passed it off as a silly dream and went back to sleep to have another silly dream, but as today progressed, I couldn't help but remember it and wonder where that all came from.

No, I'm not planning a wedding; I'm not even engaged, but am I afraid I won't be ready? Am I nervous about planning a wedding someday? Or is this something deeper? Am I afraid of forever? It is an awful long time, after all.

I'm not sure what it means, and I'm not the type to dwell on "bad" dreams. The good ones I'll dwell on for weeks, however, so if the dream fairies could send me some of those, that would be great!

Do you remember your dreams? Do you have dreams you can't make sense of, that you think may be trying to tell you something? Do you believe dreams have meaning in our lives?

2 comments:

Jeffowick said...

Dreams certainly have meaning! They can't all be completely random and empty. I'm sure some of them are just undigested gravy, but others are certainly our mind trying to process our hopes and fears and emotions. Are some even premonitions? I don't know, maybe.

But I do think if we treat everything in our life as if it has meaning and is guiding us along our quest, then we'll have a more interesting and exciting life.

I just had a very strange dream about visiting a school in Japan (which isn't the strange part because I'll soon be teaching in Japan). I was wandering through a forest when I stumbled across a crane (the bird not the machine) that sounded like a pig. Then I found the school I was looking for and there was a giant dragon bell in a beautiful courtyard. Then I suddenly had to go to an assembly and there were no chairs so we all had to lean against each other. I have no idea what it all means, but it was very vivid and I will keep my eyes open for other clues that may help me with this riddle.



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Holly said...

hmm, good questions. i think they mean something. i used to never dream about work, but now it infiltrates me dreams all the time! i think for me, its things im currently worrying about.