Ever-Changing Reflection

Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding... It is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sick self. Therefore trust the physician, and drink his remedy in silence and tranquility.
~ Kahlil Gibran

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Writer's Workshop: Advice

**Before I begin... I logged into Blogger to start this post, and I noticed there are now 50 of you who regularly read what I write! WOW! Thank you! And you, and you, and you, and you... all 50 of you! I never, ever thought this would happen.

Also, I know I've been behind on reading and replying to your comments (do you all like that I reply by e-mail, or would you rather me reply on the post?), but I'm working my way through them. I appreciate every one; they make me smile more than you know.**


Brea from Tomika’s Treasure Trove wants your advice: Quick question. I am new to the blogging world, having clocked up less than 2 weeks worth of posts, and I have just had an ‘Anonymous’ commenter slam me for blogging about my daughter, mentioning her by name, posting photos and up-to-date stories about her. I have not mentioned anywhere in my blog where we live, Country OR State, or what school she goes to. I have also seen, on several other blogs, that other parents do the same thing as me. Some even mention where they live. I was wondering, as a fellow blogger who posts about your family, what are your thoughts on the subject?

I don't really consider myself someone to be giving blogging advice; I've only been doing this for eight months, and I only have 50 (wow!) followers, but I felt this was a topic on which I could speak. So here goes...

Brea,
It really sucks when someone anonymously comes along and slams you on your blog, let alone about your parenting skills and choices, so to address that: ignore them.

However, I realize that this disrespectful comment has given you food for thought, as I think it would anyone. I'm not a parent, but I do blog about my family, and children's rights are a big issue for me. That said, I don't think you are wrong to post about your daughter, even if it includes her name, her activities or pictures. It is your blog, and she is your daughter; therefore, it's your choice what you post and how you talk about her.

I think you have used appropriate caution: you don't post your last name, where you live or any specific details (according to the above), which keeps your daughter "protected."

Blogging is a great outlet to post about our lives, our adventures, our feelings. Blogging is the 21st-century diary. We do have to be careful though, since most of us choose to make our blogs public, and I think most of us take those precautions. I'm sure you post about your daughter to update family and friends on how and what she is doing. I'm also sure you post about her because she is an important part of your life that you want to talk about, document and sometimes vent about. There is nothing wrong with that, in my opinion.

So keep doing what you're doing, and enjoy it! Good luck with your blog.

Sincerely,
Jen



This post was inspired by:
Mama's Losin' It

11 comments:

Diggestive said...

Anonymous comments are not worth Getting upset about. They are cowardly, designed to cause grief and maiy written by men with very small penises who have no idea how to talk to normal people.

Anna said...

Brea,
the thing with blogging is, yes, you can find out lots of information about someone--but truth be told, you can find virtually anything you want to know about someone by using google or other search engines--people who don't even blog.

& unfortunately weirdos will use any outlet to find information...you can't worry too much. even if you did post your address-- just use caution.
it really is no different than taking your child in public--risks are everywhere.

its sad, yet oh so true.

& definitely don't give mean comments any thought, clearly they have a bone to pick & have decided to bully you.

hang in there lady! : )
xo-

Marcy said...

Jen, congratulations on 50 followers! What a great feeling. And great advice to Brea. I don't have kids either, but my long term BF does and I occasionally mention them, so I like to read the thoughts and advice of others on the subject. I agree that there is so much information out there and if a weirdo is looking, they'll probably find it whether you blog or not.

Brea said...

Hi Jen, Digestive, Anna, and Marcy - Thank you so much for your thought on my dilemma. I appreciate you all taking the time to help out.

Jessica said...

I totally agree with you, Jen! It's her choice and if she chooses to share her daughter's name, then that's HER choice. I can't believe that someone thinks it's their right to criticize that!

OceanDreams said...

Great letter and response, I feel bad that this happened to her! I don't like commenters that slander other bloggers, it is uncalled for. Please tell her that their is a way to disable Anonymous comments - I did it on my blog and it protects you from people like this.

tara said...

definitely two issues - one, dealing with anonymous haters and two, finding the right privacy balance for you and your family.

bananas. said...

great advice jen!!! you're a natural dear abby ;)

anon commenters sucks hairy camel balls. they have way too much time on their hands and the fact that they're 'anonymous' makes them all cowards.

those my thoughts anyway.

btw hawaii in june. can't wait!

bananas. said...

great advice jen!!! you're a natural dear abby ;)

anon commenters sucks hairy camel balls. they have way too much time on their hands and the fact that they're 'anonymous' makes them all cowards.

those my thoughts anyway.

btw hawaii in june. can't wait!

Lillian Chang said...

I agree with you, Jen! There's a certain freedom that blogging allows (or should allow)...and it's strange to me that "Anonymous" would get upset about Brea's blog, when everyone seems to be blogging about their children and personal lives...
Brea - don't get upset about those comments! It's a cowardly way to approach a much more serious topic (if "Anonymous" was indeed trying to broach that topic). Good luck with your blogging, and we all support you!!

Happy weekend to both of you :)

Brea said...

Again Ladies, Thanks very much!