#scintilla13: My first job

I don't think I have ever talked about where my career started on this blog, and the older and more experienced I get, the more I realize how valuable those first few working years were.

Like a huge majority of young girls, my first paying gig was babysitting. I took the whole Red Cross babysitting safety course, and I had quite the operation going with great word-of-mouth references. I volunteered at my dance studio as a teacher's assistant, so the moms began asking me to watch their kids outside of dance class for money, which was great. My neighbors started telling their friends, who started calling me and asking if I was available. It was a racket, I tell you.

Once I turned 16, though, my parents were eager for me to get an "official" job. You know, the kind where you have to report your income to the government and they send you a W-2. I refused to work in the food service industry, so I did what any teenager would do: I hit the mall.

I showed up for my interview at Baby GAP (back then, it was a separate store from GAP) in my high school uniform, and I professed my (fake) love for the brand. And I got the job.

Back then, GAP was all khakis and black or white t-shirts or button-downs. How times have changed! I remember the three managers at the store when I started so fondly. They really took the time to teach me so much. In fact, most of the managers I worked with in my six years there were just incredible. We had great times and awful times, but we usually had fun.

I made life-long friends at that job, people I still count on today even though I no longer call them coworkers. We are the #8938 crew (that was our store number, which is now defunct since the baby store closed and consolidated with the other GAP stores in the mall). I trained many of them, including my mother who still works there today!

I had such a love-hate relationship with retail and GAP, but they were really good to me through my formative years. When I went to college in Boston, I transferred to two different stores in the city, guaranteeing me a job when I need that part-time money. My home store always took me back during school breaks and summer holidays -- they made transferring back and forth a breeze and always accommodated me. Once I graduated, they loved me so much, they gave me a full-time, non-manager position, which is extremely rare in the retail world. I was the store expert, having worked there longer than any of the managers, and I pretty much got to do whatever I wanted.

I spent most of my time on visual and merchandising projects, rearranging the store, working in new seasonal lines, setting the store windows, and styling baby and toddler mannequins. I learned responsibility, accountability, customer service and communication. I learned how to work with and train others, even some difficult personalities. Oh, and I was usually well-dressed with a 50% discount! They gave me a Tiffany bracelet for my five-year anniversary with the company.

I left GAP in 2004 to work at Victoria's Secret before leaving retail for good a year later. As much as I hated being on my feet all day and retail politics and difficult customers, I miss those "good old days" at GAP. They were some of the best days of my life, and I could always "escape" to work when life got overwhelming. I credit my time there for making me the hard worker and problem-solver I am today. I don't think I'd be where I am without those first six years.

Your turn! What was your first job? What did it teach you? Have you ever worked in retail?

#2013Countdown: How has 2012 been?

I decided to participate in a little end-of-the-year reflection journaling exercise in the hopes of revitalizing this space -- which I'm undecided about what I want to do with.

For now, I'll just jump right into it. How was my 2012? Well, the first and most powerful word that comes to mind to describe my year: growth. This has been a year of growing and discovery for me. I've been thrown in the deep end more times than I can count, and I've been forced to sink or swim. Thankfully, I seem to be pretty good at swimming in water over my head -- to continue the analogy.

I don't want to dig too deep or make this post too long, so let's just bullet some highlights, shall we?

• I skied on my first black diamond trails at the beginning of this year, conquering my fear and just going for it. It was exhilarating! 
• I launched my first solo marketing campaigns at work, and they went well. I loved being able to flex my creative muscles a little bit.
• Also at work, I planned my first customer event and managed our annual sales conference (with help from some gracious colleagues, of course). It was super stressful but super fun and rewarding. I went to Disney World! :)
• I reignited some lost friendships that have proven invaluable to me this year. They have loved me, supported me, reminded me of how passionate I am, taught me and lifted me up. I'm forever grateful.
• I was laid off. This was probably the biggest growth experience of the year for me. I had to rebuild my identity, figuring out who I am without my job. I had to create my own structure and keep myself positive. I had to figure out how I was going to survive (physically and emotionally), and I had to plot out my next steps in my career. It wasn't easy, but it was a priceless experience, and I totally view it in a positive light. I learned so much.
• I re-evaluated all of my relationships. Losing yourself in unemployment will do this. I learned who my real friends are. I learned who is an uplifting presence in my life and who brings me down. This is so important to do often.
• I ran my first half marathon! Ok, this is a contender for the biggest growth experience of the year. Keeping the positive spin, I was laid off the second week of my training plan, which gave me ample time to devote to training for this beast (and it was a beast). Running kept me sane when I wasn't working full-time. This was easily one of the biggest accomplishments of my life. I can't wait to do it again!
• I fell in love with myself. Yes, that sounds weird. Sure, it may seem narcissistic. Listen: it is crucial to your happiness. I learned this the hard way. The really hard way. The long, time-consuming (wasting), hard way. I happen to think I'm pretty swell. I know, trust, believe that I am exactly where I am supposed to be and who I am supposed to be at this precise moment in time. I have a pretty firm grasp on who I am, and I know what I need to do. I am proud of that. So, yes, in re-evaluating my relationships, I learned that the most important one is with myself. Call me selfish, I do not care.
• I got my heart broken. I'm not going to go into details as to how, who or what. That's not important to you. What's important is this is an opportunity to grow. Remember that.
• I started a new job! After four months of being unemployed, I am back in the workforce, and I couldn't be happier. Being thrust into a new professional setting always encourages growth, and I can't wait to see what this new opportunity brings. I am truly excited, and I think I am going to love what I do now.

Ok, that's it for me. Now it's your turn: How was your 2012? What did you learn this year?

#Trust30: Making Up the Path as You Go

Alternative Paths by Jonathan Fields

When good is near you, when you have life in yourself, it is not by any known or accustomed way; you shall not discern the foot-prints of any other; you shall not see the face of man; you shall not hear any name; the way, the thought, the good, shall be wholly strange and new. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

The world buzzes about goals and visions. Focus. Create a vivid picture of exactly where you want to go. Dream big, then don’t let anything or anyone stop you. The problem, as Daniel Gilbert wrote in Stumbling Upon Happiness, is that we’re horrible at forecasting how we’ll really feel 10 or 20 years from now – once we’ve gotten what we dreamed of. Often, we get there only to say, “That’s not what I thought it would be,” and ask, “What now?” Ambition is good. Blind ambition is not. It blocks out not only distraction, but the many opportunities that might take you off course but that may also lead you in a new direction. Consistent daily action is only a virtue when bundled with a willingness to remain open to the unknown. In this exercise, look at your current quest and ask, “What alternative opportunities, interpretations and paths am I not seeing?” They’re always there, but you’ve got to choose to see them.

I LOVE this prompt. Thankfully I learned this lesson awhile ago, but it's not an easy one to hang onto because "the world buzzes about goals and visions." It is really tough to respond to the questions about your goals, visions, dreams, one-five-10-year plans with, "I know I want to do this, but I'm staying open to possibilities and opportunities that come along." People just don't comprehend that; they want a solid plan.

In college, I was very one-track-minded. I was a journalism major, and anything that did not contribute to that goal was not worth my time. I carefully selected courses that would make me a better writer and thinker. I read all the time. I knew what I wanted to be: a newspaper reporter. Why should I entertain anything else? In college that is a HUGE mistake, and I partly blame my father for insisting that I declare a major as an incoming freshman. I wish I had the guts to explore other majors or careers. I wish I had taken a couple of random courses that had nothing to do with journalism or media. I missed those opportunities that may have been.

Guess what? I have not worked a day of my life as a full-time staff newspaper reporter. Never. Instead my career looks like a Venn diagram with newspaper reporter in the middle; I just dance around in the bubbles on the outskirts. It has been a learning experience for sure, and the most important lesson I have taken away? Remain open to what may come. Don't block anything out. Even if you don't love it, you will learn something. It's all about the journey, right?

Now I don't mind telling friends and family that I'm not really sure where I'm going; I'm along for the ride. I think most of them get that about me. It's still really hard, though, to fend off the questions at work -- in the professional setting. I'm not an easy employee to manage when you are trying to set my goals for the upcoming year, and I really don't have a five-year plan for myself. So, I take what comes; I try new things. This year is the perfect example: I have taken on an objective that is pretty far out there from anything I saw myself doing, but I think I am going to learn a lot. That's what it's all about, right?

#Trust30 is an online initiative and 30-day writing challenge that encourages you to look within and trust yourself. Use this as an opportunity to reflect on your now, and to create direction for your future. 30 prompts from inspiring thought-leaders will guide you on your writing journey. 

Sign up to receive the prompts by email.

#Trust30: Imitation is the Finest Form of Flattery

Divine Idea by Fabian Kruse

Imitation is Suicide. Insist on yourself; never imitate. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Write down in which areas of your life you have to overcome these suicidal tendencies of imitation, and how you can transform them into a newborn you – one that doesn’t hide its uniqueness, but thrives on it. There is a “divine idea which each of us represents” – which is yours?

Flattery for the original, suicide for the imitator... Ick. I have struggled with this my entire life. How do I be myself? Who is that even? How can I be myself when I see someone else doing it better than I ever could? Wow, that's deep huh? Really cuts to the core.

I think there are two areas in my life right now where I am imitating rather than letting my uniqueness shine, and ironically, they are also the two most challenging areas of my life right now. I think when I find myself "not living up," I imitate those who I see as doing it better, as doing it how I want to do it.

First up, my relationship. Man, I am surrounded by some great examples of love -- close friends, family, reality TV... ok, maybe not so much on that last one. When I don't know how to love, I find myself imitating someone's relationship other than mine, or trying to. It never works, let me tell you, because there are two people in every relationship, and that other person usually is not willing to mimic the actions/thoughts/words/feelings of the partner in the relationship you are trying to copy. It is disastrous. Hm, or as Emerson so eloquently stated: SUICIDAL. Even worse, you are dragging someone down with you. Just don't do it.

A relationship is something that is so beautiful, so unique, so kinetic; no two are alike because no two people are the same, and no two people's interaction can be the same. I think the answer here is easy: Let it flow. Be who you are. Feel what you feel. Say what you think (with kindness). Let go of the comparison because it just can't compare!

The second area I find myself imitating is in my career. Man, sometimes work is just... work. It's hard. It's tiring. Sometimes I just don't know what to do, and instead of figuring it out, I play this game of "What Would 'Fill-in-the-Blank' Do?" I know, we all need mentors, teachers, coaches, guides. We need someone to show us what to do sometimes. However, I have found myself in situations where I look back, and I know that my actions didn't reflect who I really am.

I think many of us tend to lose ourselves in the corporate world. We're different people at work and at home. It doesn't have to be that way, especially today. Companies are actually realizing the value in the individual, so let's let it shine! Here is where I need to stop being a drone and start letting my unique perspective shine. Here is where I need to do the work.

Where do you find yourself imitating and why?

#Trust30 is an online initiative and 30-day writing challenge that encourages you to look within and trust yourself. Use this as an opportunity to reflect on your now, and to create direction for your future. 30 prompts from inspiring thought-leaders will guide you on your writing journey. 

Sign up to receive the prompts by email.

#reverb10 - Is this it???

I haven't been so great about the second half of this whole #reverb10 deal. I did well the first two weeks, then I just fell off the horse... and the horse ran over me. Seriously, that's kinda how it felt watching those daily prompts gallop into my inbox every morning.

So, I'm a little late to the polo game. What's the big deal? I've been late my entire life, so why make this an exception? I'm dedicated to #reverb10, folks, just not every month in December. I'll complete every prompt, even if it takes me until March 2011 to do it! I do find value in reflecting back on the year, and these prompts challenge me. I believe they are helping me showcase some of my best writing on this blog.

Catch up is starting TODAY...

December 29 Prompt: Defining moment. Describe a defining moment or series of events that has affected your life this year.

I just mentally went through my entire year, and it's pretty sad that I had a hard time remembering a lot of it! So it is as we get older and less emotionally involved, I suppose.

Then it hit me over the head -- my defining moment that is. After five years at my company, and seven years since I graduated from a prestigious communications college with a bachelor's degree in journalism, I finally got the job I had been wanting! I finally achieved what I had been working toward -- finally would be able to use my skills and do something I loved.

Or so I thought.

Unfortunately, with all of the downsizing of the past two years comes the upsizing of individual positions. People everywhere do more with less; employers call upon their employees to do the jobs of two or even three people.

So was the case with me.

I love communications. I love telling people what they don't know, or what they don't think they need to know. I love seeing my name in print -- or even just seeing something I had a hand in creating in "print" (since most publications are digital these days). I love working so hard researching and creating something and then watching it go out to the masses. I like publication design, content creation, collaboration and directing. I never thought I was creative until I realized that structuring an entire publication is creating.

But, that's not all my new job of internal communications was -- to my dismay. Also tagged onto the end of my title was sales communications and events.

I'm ok with the events part; it gives me the opportunity to expand my skill set and do something I've been casually interested in for a while. Sure, let's tack that bullet point onto the end of my resume.

Sales. OMG. Ew. LOL... I don't mean to be overly dramatic, but I've been trying to get into "sales" for 11 years -- ever since I started working in retail. It's not for me, friends, sorry. I don't get the thrill of taking money from people -- even if I'm offering them the best product or service in the world in return. I have no interest in convincing someone to choose my offering over someone else's; that's their choice. I have no aptitude for budgets or sales leads or revenue or that dreaded EBITDA. It's just not me.

So, while I finally reached that long-held goal, with it came responsibilities that I... just... am... not... good... at. Not only am I not good at them, but they don't excite me. And, because it's half my job, I don't get to allocate as much time as I would like to the things that do excite me.

I'm trying. I'm trying to learn and grow and "do something different." I haven't quite figured it out yet though. Is this just the way the professional world is, or am I settling? Do you have to take the bad with the good? Is there a way for me to custom-build a job where I only do things I'm passionate about and that inspire me? 

All I know is this is a growing pain. There is a lesson here. There is a challenge here. It is not the end.

19

I had been working in my first newspaper job for only a few weeks as a copywriter. I was really getting the hang of writing and editing the obituaries (I know, who wants to spend the summer after their freshman year of college writing obits?), and I even liked it. A part of me wished I had more creative license and time; I wanted to delve into these peoples' lives, to write mini eulogies rather than local paper obituaries.

It was my 19th birthday, and I arrived at the office to a pile of incoming obituary forms. I sat down at my teal-colored Mac to get to work. I think there was an accomplished, elderly professor who made some impressive scientific discovery. Someone's grandmother. The usual and expected.

Then there was the one that stopped me in my tracks. The obituary that brought tears to my eyes as I wrote it. The tragedy that broke me down that morning on my 19th birthday.

There had been a car accident. He was 19. Unlike so many teen accidents, this one did not involve alcohol (or texting, it didn't exist back then). It was just that: an accident. An unfortunate twist of fate that stole this young man from the Earth. 

He was the same age as me, and he was dead. He left behind his parents, his friends, his girlfriend... and his two-year-old daughter. He was just starting to make a life for himself, and he was gone. 

That obituary was a reality check for me -- one of many. It was a reminder that every moment is precious and sacred, that every kiss, hug, "I love you" and smile should be cherished because you never know when it may be the last. That young man taught me the value of not going to bed angry, of not leaving for work without a kiss goodbye, of not ending a phone conversation without telling a person you love them.

I must have sat in front of that teal Mac for 20 minutes, staring at this man's obituary on the screen, sobbing.

I never expected a summer job as a newspaper copywriter to teach me so much or touch me so deeply.

{Image via we heart it}

This post was inspired by:

Prompt #1

Describe a tragedy you didn't expect to be as deeply affected by as you are.

Tuesday Treats

Happy Tuesday, loves! I hope this day is treating you well. Here is what I am grateful for today:

• I love that I have such great new coworkers. They are so supportive, helpful and friendly.

• I'm so thankful I was able to salvage my rose bush. We ripped out the planter it was in when we moved here, and I didn't want to throw it out, so I tried to transplant it next to our driveway (not having a clue as to what I was doing). I watered it faithfully. Jed gave it some fertilizer. Now I have three huge, blooming, pink roses; they are beautiful. I get to see them every time I leave or come home, and they make me smile.

• I'm so glad the sun is out today. Yesterday was a little dreary, and my mood totally reflected the weather. I'm feeling MUCH better today and looking forward to a good, long walk this evening.

Tell me: What makes you grateful today?

{Image via we heart it}

If I could do it again...

It's time for another Wishful Wednesday! To play along, click the button to link up at Kelsey's blog. This week's topic is:

'I wish' .... I had the opportunity to change careers and it would be a professional dancer!

I wouldn't necessarily be a professional ballerina, although that is what I always dreamed of as a girl. I would do any kind of dance anywhere I could: Broadway on a cruise ship, contemporary for Alvin Ailey, tap on America's Got Talent, a ballerina with the Boston Ballet.

Obviously, this isn't a career I could transition into now, but we're not talking about reality; this is wishful after all! But, if I could go back and do it all over again, I would have stuck with dance more. My parents pushed me to get an education since a dance career is so unreliable, but I wish I had listened to them a little less and myself a little more. I wish I had gone to a university where I could have pursued dance more seriously -- perhaps as a second major or a minor.

I miss dancing, and I miss the opportunity I never gave a chance.

{Image via we heart it}

Thankful Tuesday

weheartit

{I want her beach-perfect hair and sun-kissed skin!}

I'm thankful for:

• My friend's beautiful, perfect, happy, healthy baby boy. He was Baptized on Sunday, and he was an angel all day, even with all of the people, the pictures, the water, the attention. He really makes me want kids! 

• Being able to see and feel summer on the horizon (like the gorgeous girl in the picture above)! I'm drooling over dreams of steamy beach days filled with flip-flops and sand.

• My mother. For all the reasons why, refer to my top 10. We have shopping day planned for Saturday, and I can't wait! (Yes, she's bringing me to The Gap to show me the latest and greatest.)

• My job and its endless possibilities. Sometimes it seems like I'm at the end of the road, but the road never ends. There's always another step.

• Jed. I've been a pain in his a$$ lately, but I'm really glad he's in my life. 

If you couldn't tell, I'm feeling very grateful this week. Do you? What are you thankful for right now? 

It's time for a revolution!

weheartit

A revolution is brewing within me. Change is on the horizon. I can’t see it, but I can feel it. I am anticipating it with butterflies in my stomach and a tornado of thoughts in my mind.

I have been inspired – by so many of you. Over the past few weeks, you have made me think, gave me reason to want more, brought me to the realization that my life could be more fulfilling. I have a myriad of interests and passions in which I am suddenly seeing endless opportunities. I became restless, and I no longer want to sit still and watch life pass me by.

There will be no drastic changes; I condone baby steps. One foot in front of the other, one day at a time. I am not quitting my day job. I am not jumping head-first into the freelance ocean. I am going to start walking barefoot more and questioning whether life really has to be lived for the weekends. I am going to fill my weekdays, with pursuits that thrill me to no end, so I can live for every day.

A revolution has been brewing within me for a few weeks now. The first battle cry was sounded today.

FMM: My Daybook

It's a rough Monday. I'm totally exhausted from skiing all weekend (although it was great!); my shoulders ache, my legs feel like spaghetti, and I'm sleepy. That would all be bearable if it was a sunny day, or even if snow was gracefully falling to the ground. Instead, we get pelting rain in high winds. Fantastic.

So, this version of Friend-Makin' Monday is perfect for me: no thought required!

.{aefilkins}.

The Simple Woman's Daybook

Outside my window... gray, gloomy rain and wind.

I am thinking.... of how tired I am, and how I can't wait for this day to be over.

I am thankful... for my awesome skiing weekend!

I am praying... for those in Haiti.

I am reading... The Hour I First Believed, by Wally Lamb (still), and all of your blogs!

I am creating... new customer notes for my job. {Boring, I know.}

From the kitchen... I have no idea. Going to try to hit up the grocery store after work.

Around the house... I have to vacuum, big time. Tomorrow.

One of my favorite things... Snow! Boo to this yucky rain.

A few plans for the rest of the week... dinner with a friend I haven't seen in almost a year Wed. night, and then hopefully Jed and I will finally be seeing Avatar this weekend!

HAPPY MONDAY!!

Roses and Thorns

Happy Friday! TGIF! Seriously.

Quick lil post here, but I wanted to wish everyone a great weekend.

What are you up to? I love hearing your plans.

I'm sleeping over my parents' house tonight,

so me and lil sis can rise and shine in the AM to pick up my aunt

and drive up to Sunday River in Maine.

We're staying over Saturday night for two fun-filled days of skiing!

Now, on to the main event...

Roses to a little weekend trip in Maine for Sunday River skiing!

Roses for Friday! This four-day work-week has been the longest ever!

Roses to having the cutest dog ever; he's made me smile so much this week.

Roses for finally buying my own ski boots.

Roses to having a "financial plan."

Roses to just finding out that I MIGHT get a raise this year and actually be making what I'm supposed to (I'm at least $10k short of the quoted salary range for my position).

Thorns to feeling like I'm really going to miss Jed this weekend.

Thorns to Google Reader overwhelming me with new blogs this week!

Thorns to work's excuses.

Thorns to the dog using my door mat as a pee-pee pad.

Thorns for not taking Monday off to recover from this weekend's trip.

Thorns to laundry on a Friday afternoon.


{Images from K.Law: Inspired}

Count your blessings

I read somewhere today that a surefire way to stay upbeat and happy is to be grateful, we all know this. The article also suggested noting three things daily that you are grateful for, make you smile or make you happy.

I'm going to start small and commit to Thankful Tuesdays. You may, I hope, start to see daily posts on this. We'll call the new tag "blessings."

No better time than the present, they say, so...

1. I always smile when Morris rests his head on my knee. He did this last night in bed.








2. I'm so thankful for the tech guys at work who never fail to help me out of a jam; in today's case, resetting my password remotely so I could log into my computer from home when my passwords had expired.

3. Yoga refreshes me so much! Just 15 minutes makes me feel more relaxed, taller and stronger.

{Images via Google Images}

YESSSSS!!!!!!!!

I'm going to have to start looking for a life-size version of this adorable writing desk and possibly put it where that bookcase in the background is...

... BECAUSE I WILL BE WORKING FROM HOME!!!!

My boss has been trying, since I got my new position two months ago, to get me approved for a company-issued laptop so I wouldn't have to commute 80 miles and two hours roundtrip daily every day.

I have been trying to work from home for years since I've had an hour-long commute each way for the past four years.

Finally! I get two hours of my life back! I am so ecstatic!

Now I have two flexible jobs I can do from anywhere with internet access! Livin' the life, livin' the life.

Latest Sun Chronicle contribution -- a bit late!

Norfolk scales back on school plans - The Sun Chronicle Online - Norfolk

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Another Sun Chronicle article

Town asking residents to limit water usage after well develops a leak - The Sun Chronicle Online - Norfolk

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Sun Chronicle article

Selectment hope to change traffic pattern to alleviate Gillette clogs - The Sun Chronicle Online - Norfolk

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