Ever-Changing Reflection

Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding... It is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sick self. Therefore trust the physician, and drink his remedy in silence and tranquility.
~ Kahlil Gibran

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Hello, 2005!

Hey 2005 Jen! Yeah, you. I see you... trying not to slip on the ice walking across the Public Garden Pond smoking your post-Superbowl cigar. Yeah, I know you got your Tom Brady jersey on under that jacket. Good night huh? The Pats won the Superbowl, you're drunk, you're out in downtown Boston.

Well, drunkie, listen up because I got some news for you. Let's flash-forward five years to January 2010.

Ok, let's answer your basic questions first:

Who? That's you, five years from now. Contacts, check. Layered hair, check. Happy, check. Working from home, check... yes, for a company, where you used to work in an office. In a relationship, check. We'll get to that in a minute. Oh yes, and that's Morris with you, your dog. Yup, you have a dog, and you LOVE him. Thought you were a cat persons, huh? Nope, you love dogs.

What? Let's go with what you're doing. You're watching cable TV (yes, you finally have cable), with the dog, after you just logged off from work. Oh yeah, and you're blogging. What's a blog you ask? It's short for Weblog, a sort of online journal of whatever you want. It keeps you writing, introduces you to new people and makes you happy. You're about to head out to dinner with friends, from high school. Yes, you're still doing dinner with them every other week.

When? It's January 14, 2010. Thursday. Night.

Where? You might want to sit down for this. You're in Rhode Island, in your house. Ok, just breathe, you're ok. Yes, you own a house. No, not by yourself; you're still not that wealthy. It's a cute little house that you picked out. It's a three-bedroom ranch with a finished basement and a one-car garage. You've been living there for almost seven months when you moved out of Mom and Dad's finally, and you're... getting used to it. You're in Rhode Island, but you're not far from Mass. It's ok. You like being in the Ocean State. You're a big beach girl now.

How? The next five years will be an amazing journey for you. You'll really grow into yourself and learn who you are by experimentation. Trial and error. It's fine though because you can't get there any other way; you need to learn from your own mistakes. In a couple weeks, you'll start working for a global conferencing company. You'll gain a positive reputation there, and you'll move up, slowly but steadily. You'll meet new people, learn new skills and have your eyes opened wide. And you will travel. A lot. You fall in love with it. You will watch many of your friends get married -- yes, even your college roommate! They will be fun weddings. Just relax and enjoy the ride.

Why? Well, you definitely want to get off the ice for this one. You might break something. Guess what? All your prayers and your hope and your faith and your tears and your doubts have got you where you've wanted to be for the past five years (now ten). You have been dating Jed for almost two years. {2005 Jen collapses to the ground hyperventilating and crying.} Look, don't jump the gun. You have to go through the next five years before you get to this point; there is a lot of stuff you have to figure out before you guys get back together. But, you eventually do, just as you always knew you would.

I can tell you right now, ditch that kid that's with you tonight; the next year will only cause you pain there. You'll remain friends. You are truly better without him. In 2010, you still talk to him and see him occasionally, so it all works out for the best. Hang onto that jersey, you still love the Pats and #12. Some things never change.

You do kinda say goodbye to Boston, so enjoy it while you can. It's a great city, and it will always feel like "home away from home" to you. But, your closest 2010 friends don't really dig Beantown. That's ok, you visit every once in a while to hang out with the college girls or visit friends who still live there. You will grow an affinity for Providence. It's a pretty cool city too.

In a few weeks, you'll stop talking to Jed until September, still do that. It's good for you. You shift your focus and make new friends, find new interests. The two of you need to grow apart to grow together.

By 2010, you've grown up, kid. A lot. Your still a kid at heart, but you've relinquished a lot of those girlhood fantasies for reality, and the man you've loved since high school. Deal with it. Now go finish that cigar and live your life.

This post was inspired by:


Erika said...

Wow! That's such a cool post! i have always wanted to write a letter to my future self. I like the idea of going backwards, and then working forwards:-)

Jennifer said...

Very Awesome post!! I think past you would be proud of present you!

Thanks for stopping by my blog!

Jody said...

I totally enjoyed reading this. Thanks!

My Lipstick Life said...

What a cute blog entry! I really feel like I got to know you :) Thanks for stopping by My Lipstick Life!

muchlove said...

This is such a great post! What a great way to look back at the progress and changes in your life in the past 5 years.

Kelly said...

this is amazingly creative!!! i love it.

happy weekend!